I've worked at a newspaper for about three months now. So my camera and I have had the privilege of attending endless local fundraisers and celebrations, many of which are attended by our older and wiser generations.
My attendance is usually just credited to gathering enough photos to cover the event. But even amidst each snap of the camera, I can't help but take a particular interest the cute, older couples.
Granted, I realize that every marriage--heck, every relationship--has its ups and downs. But from what my lens and I can see, these couples are happy. And each time, regardless of who they are, I see a pattern of habitats in these established marriages that seem to be lacking in some of the younger relationships I've seen lately.
1. They don't use the word "I."
It's always a "we" or an "us." I admittedly have good eaves-dropping skills and I hear it in almost conversation. It's never "I'm sitting over there in that seat." It's always "We are sitting at table 13." Or, "We are having a great time." Very rarely do I hear them speak about themselves without noting their other half in the conversation.
2. They ask for each other's opinion, even though it's not really needed.
It's cute, really. Whenever I ask for a picture, nine times out of ten the couple will look at each other and the man will say "If it's okay with her, it's okay with me. Do you want a picture?" At the endless streams of silent auctions that Sussex County seems to hold, they always decide together on which items to bid on. Clearly, the man has no interest in the floral purse that is up for grabs, but the wife insists on asking his opinion. They just seem to feel better knowing they both made the decision.
3. There are never any phones. Ever.
I can't recall one moment when their phones were out. At the dinner table, they are chatting with each other or walking around the room offering small talk with everyone else. The only time I see a phone is when they are taking a picture, and then it goes right back into their pocket. Now, I am not discrediting their technological abilities. Most of them text on a regular basis and update Facebook daily. But, they know how to turn it off.
4. The husband does "old-fashioned" chivalrous things without a second thought.
Holds the wife's coat. Pulls out her chair. Introduces her first in conversation. Holds the door open. Carries her plate at the buffet. Since when did small gestures like this become a rarity instead of a norm?
5. They genuinely enjoy each other's company.
First and foremost, they act like friends. The man tells jokes, the wife giggles. They goof off on the dance floor (Side note, I hope they don't mind, but is the picture above not the cutest picture you've ever seen?). They don't indulge in excessive PDA or b
6. They always compliment each other.
The gentlemen especially comment on their wife's beauty. It's cool to to see them still attracted to each other after so many years. A common comment by the husband is usually, "Sure, you can take a picture, but make sure she is front. She's the good-looking one." And the wife usually responds with, "Oh please, let him know he is handsome too. We are taking a picture together."
7. They pray.
Before a meal, they join hands and pray. Together.
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