A Man Worth the Wait

Guilty as charged: I am a girl, and I have a thorough list of the qualities I look for in my future husband.

Don’t lie–you have one too. Whether or not yours is physically written down (my list may or may not be in my journal, rewritten and edited several times), you have one. It’s floating in that little head of yours, somewhere.

I’ve put a lot of thought into the qualities I look for in my future husband. My recent inner peace with my own single-hood lead me to realize a couple of things.

One; I don’t mind patiently waiting until God gives me my man. I know that my man will be handcrafted by God, for me, and well worth the wait.

And two, high expectations aren’t a bad thing. All things are possible with God, so knowing what to look for in a future husband (even if the list is extensive and detailed) isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Realistic? Maybe, maybe not. But, it keeps me on my toes and is a constant reminder to never settle for anything less.

Okay, now I’m starting to sound like a cheesy fortune cookie.

So, what are my top ten qualities on this recently revised and highly thought out list of qualities I’m looking for?

1. His love for God is unconditional and contagious.

I need a man who is just as passionate about serving the Lord as I am. In fact, I need him to love God more than me, and be a spiritual leader in our relationship. I need a man who isn’t afraid to walk across the room and ask a stranger if he needs a prayer, or afraid to lift his hands up in worship amongst a large crowd. I need a man who doesn’t base his relationship with God on how he is “feels”–happy, sad, angry, frustrated, depressed, or hopeful. In all times and emotions, I want my husband to strive towards God with me.

2. He is unconditionally loving of everyone and truly embodies Jesus’ well-known title “friend of sinners.”

There are many people in this world. And, big shocker here: we are all sinners. I need a husband who embraces the fact that he is a sinner himself, and uses that to love the people around him. Does that make sense? Everyone is important, and everyone deserves to be loved. I mean, for heavens sake, Jesus ate dinner with tax collectors, befriended prostitutes, and forgave the people that everyone else at the time considered “bad people.” I hope my husband can reflect that love in his own life, and refuse to pass judgment or block himself away from fellow sinners who desperately need Jesus as much as we do.

3. He bears fruit using whatever talents, characteristics, or quirks God has given him.

As much as I rave about wanting a guy who can serenade me with an acoustic guitar and angelic singing voice, I honestly could care less about the talents and interests he has. As long has he is passionate about what he does, and uses his talents in a way that glorifies God, I will love him.

4. He is tactfully outspoken.

I am not exactly known for being the most outspoken person. In fact, you could say I’m quite an introvert, so in turn, a lot of my thoughts and feelings tend to not make it out of my own brain. And from experience, two quiet souls in one relationship does not work well because communication is lacking. And, to add to that, I tend to get extremely lost in my own thoughts and I avoid confrontation like the plague. Therefore, having a bit a of that ying to my yang is a necessity. So, I need a man who is able to speak out, speak up, and speak the truth even when I don’t want to hear it. But, with that being said, I don’t need a man who uses his extroverted self to talk down to me. No–I need a man who will talk with me. Yes–there is a difference.

5. He isn’t afraid to use his mind in creative, intelligent or sensitive ways.

I am so over the extreme-macho psyche that men nowadays seem to cling to. Athleticism, bravery, strength: sure that is all fine and dandy. But, I need a bit more that that. I love a man who isn’t afraid to write a little love note and leave it on the counter. Or, watch TED talks just for the heck of it because it makes you think. Or, engage in deep conversations late at night, when we can’t sleep, about Ed Sheeran’s latest song’s lyrics or the book of Proverbs. Or, go to an art museum or puppy store with me, and genuinely enjoy it. Guys, it really is okay–no one is going to take your man card away from you.

6. He is able to teach and be taught.

There is something to be said about someone that has something to offer, but at the same time, can take correction with a humble heart. Humility is such an admirable characteristic.

7. He embraces his inner nerd.

What can I say? I’m a bit of a nerd. I love weird and quirky things. Like loose-leaf tea, cheesy boy bands, Broadway music, thrift store shopping, knitting, gigantic dogs, and British accents. I enjoy dancing like and idiot in the car to Chris Tomlin’s lastest hit and quoting every line to Lion King. I stay up late to write random stories or sketch pointless things. So, I feel as if my husband needs to be a nerd at heart too. I could care less if he likes the same weird things as me. But if he is a bit weird, knows it, and is confident in his own weirdness, then we’d be a quite a pair. Our quirkiness and humor would keep a smile on my face.

8. He cherishes growth, learning, and adventure.

My mom constantly tells me that I am really bad at “enjoying the moment I am in.” I have never been good at schedules, consistency, and sameness. I like moving, learning, and growing. Ideas like moving across the world to be a missionary don’t scare me. And, I’m always wanting to learn something new–heck, in the past year or two I’ve learned how to surf, play the ukelele, and knit. My hobbies are about has stable as Kim Kardashian’s last marriage–sometimes I like painting, sometimes it’s hiking, and sometimes it’s reading. So, if the idea of spontaneity, travel, and learning new things scares my husband, then that might not be such a good thing.

9. He is someone that I genuinely believe is out of my league.

I don’t care what he looks like. But I hope that this man of mine is someone that I am extremely attracted to, and love so much that I question every day why he chose me. And, I hope he thinks the same about me. Wouldn’t it be beautiful if we were so amazed by the other, that we were in awe and eternally thankful, everyday, that they chose us? And vice versa?

And 10. He has areas where he fails. And I can help, serve, and work through these areas with him. And vice versa.

I’m not under the assumption that marriage is all unicorns and rainbows. I am painfully aware that much of marriage is a struggle because, in all reality, it is a relationship between two humans, and us humans are not perfect. I know my man will have issues, baggage, failures, and problems. But, if I am to be a good wife to him, I will be able to help and serve him in the way that he needs. And, he can do the same for me. It’s a like a puzzle piece–we may not be perfectly shaped, but we connect to each other in a way that makes us complete.

And there you have it, folks. My semi-shortened, yet very thorough, list of my desirable characteristics for my future husband.

Of course, this is only my list. God my have a completely different idea of marriage for me than the ones I have daydreamed above. But, until then, I will bask in the idea that God is writing my love story, and enjoy the promise that He has a plan for me.

Any thoughts from you ladies out there? What sort of things are you hopeful for in your future men?